Who Does Adoption Really Serve?
This is one of the most important questions to ask when considering adoption.
Historically, adoption has often been viewed as a way to help families who desire children. While adoptive families are certainly an important part of the adoption story, adoption should never exist simply to meet the needs or desires of adults.
At Birth Choice, we believe adoption should first and foremost serve the best interests of the child while honoring and supporting all those connected to that child.
Adoption should serve the child by providing safety, stability, love, and the opportunity to thrive.
Adoption should serve expectant and birth parents by ensuring they are fully informed, treated with dignity and respect, and supported both before and after placement. Adoption should never require a mother to stop being a mother. Rather, adoption can provide another way for a mother to love, care for, and advocate for her child.
Adoption should serve adoptive families by allowing them the privilege and responsibility of raising a child entrusted to their care, while recognizing and honoring the child’s history, identity, and connections.
Healthy adoption is not about choosing one person over another. It is not about replacing one family with another. It is about seeking the well-being of the child while respecting the important roles that both birth and adoptive families play in that child’s life.
At its best, adoption is not a means to an end. It is a commitment to life, love, redemption, and the belief that every child deserves the opportunity to flourish. Adoption should seek not only life for a child, but abundant life for everyone involved.
When approached in this way, adoption becomes more than a legal process. It becomes a partnership centered on the well-being of a child and the hope that all involved can experience healing, growth, and a future filled with possibility.
What Does Adoption Look Like?
In practice, adoption will not look one certain way, as expectant mothers who choose adoption will work with professionals and the adoptive families to create an individualized plan. Birth Choice facilitates 3 kinds of adoption:
- Open
- Semi-open
- Openness
Historically, closed adoptions were standard in practice, and usually what people think of when they hear the word adoption. Closed adoptions mean there is no contact between birth mother and adoptive parents and adoptee; no identifying information is shared and communication is barred after finalization.
Professionals began to realize that closed adoptions were promoting stigma, secrecy, and shame. Current research actually shows that some form of openness in adoption produces the best outcome for all members of the adoption triad 1.
At minimum, openness can look like receiving periodic letters, pictures, and updates from the adoptive family. In the fullest sense of the word, a truly open adoption can allow for unmediated visits and contact between birth mother and adoptive family.
Adoption plans are highly individualized and can change and adapt depending on one’s needs and level of stability. Birth Choice can help to navigate this process with you, and talk through what openness in adoption could look like for your specific situation, needs, and desires.
Why is Adoption a Real Option?
Every woman’s situation is unique, and only you can decide what is best for you and your child.
For some women, adoption becomes a way to choose a future they hope will allow both themselves and their child to flourish. While adoption is not easy and often involves grief, loss, and difficult emotions, many birth mothers describe their decision as one made from a place of deep love and selflessness.
Choosing adoption does not mean you do not love your child. In fact, many women consider adoption because they love their child so deeply that they are willing to make a difficult sacrifice in hopes of providing opportunities they may not feel able to provide at this point in their lives.
Adoption is an act of hope. It is believing that your child’s story is still being written and trusting that God has a purpose for his or her life. Every child is uniquely created with God-given gifts, talents, abilities, and potential. Many birth mothers find comfort in knowing they can watch their child grow, learn, flourish, and become the person God created them to be.
Today, adoption often looks very different than it did in previous generations. Depending on the circumstances and level of openness chosen, many birth mothers continue to receive updates, pictures, letters, and ongoing communication. Some even maintain meaningful relationships with their child and the adoptive family.
Adoption does not erase your place in your child’s story. You will always be an important part of who your child is and where they came from.
At Birth Choice, we believe adoption should seek abundant life for everyone involved—the child, the birth family, and the adoptive family. While no path is without challenges, adoption can create opportunities for love, connection, growth, and hope that extend far beyond placement day.
If you are considering adoption, our desire is to provide you with truthful information, compassionate support, and the freedom to make the decision that is best for you and your child.
How Can Each Pregnancy Option Affect Your Future?
There are three options in a pregnancy:
- Parenting
- Adoption
- Abortion
Having complete information on all of your options gives you the opportunity to be well-informed and make your decision based on personal goals and what you desire your life to look like.
Ask yourself questions before making any decisions that will affect your life long-term:
- Do I fully understand each pregnancy option and all its potential outcomes, both positive and negative?
- Is there any information I am lacking that I need to make a fully-informed decision?
- What does my life look like now, and are my current choices going to help me reach my desired future?
- Do I feel pressure from anyone to choose an option I am unsure about?
Gather information on each option and take some time to discuss each option with a professional or someone you trust. Imagine how each option might not only affect you currently but also in one year, five years, ten years, or further down the road.
It’s okay to ask questions and to take time on this decision. You deserve to have the complete picture of each option and how it will impact your future. You should never have to base your decision on pressure from others, lack of information, or fear of judgement.
How is the Adoptive Family Chosen?
Families considering adoption must complete an extensive home study and be approved before they can be considered prospective adoptive parents. The home study process is lengthy and consists of background checks, adoption education, autobiographies, financial records, employment verification, legal documentation, and more. After families have an approved home study from Birth Choice, they create a profile book filled with pictures of their family and lifestyle for the expectant mother to view.
Expectant mothers considering adoption will be shown several profile books of home study approved families, and she will be able to choose with whom her child is placed. This process is called matching, and expectant mothers will typically encounter this step around the 8-month of pregnancy or later, depending on her specific situation.
Pregnant and Want to Explore Your Options?
Finding yourself in the midst of an unplanned pregnancy can be scary and overwhelming; but knowing the information on all your options can empower you in your decision.
Know that you don’t have to go through this alone. Birth Choice can provide pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, social service assistance, parenting classes, and information on birth options; all for free. Client advocates will walk you through education on parenting, adoption, and abortion; ensuring you leave Birth Choice with the information needed to make the best decision for you.
If you decide you want to explore the option of adoption more closely, you can be connected to our Expectant and Birth Mother Advocate, who is there to answer any questions you may have about the process without influencing your final decision.
You deserve space to ask questions and learn about your pregnancy options without pressure or judgement.